Missed Out On Giving Head Because I Just Couldn't Wait.
(First Published on BMEzine.com, Summer, 2002)

I'm not sure where this thought of venom piercings came from, but I was getting overly-tired of seeing all these people with center tongue piercings. Not only that, but reading and reviewing all these 13 year olds getting it done was making it sound so "mainstream" and of course us "hardcore BME'ers" need to avoid mainstream at all costs! Other than that, I thought it was cooler for me to have two off-center ones (what venoms are, incase you're wondering) and yes, one of my three mile list of reasons, is because I want to see if I can give better head.

First, I wanted to get pierced after my first day of my second year at university, Ryerson to be exact. Sort of a celebration of starting my second year (my first year celebration was supposed to be my septum, although that got pushed back to about the middle of September instead). There was a BME BBQ going on in Toronto, and I wanted to go, and a really good & close friend was supposed to come with me. Only he had personal wheelings and dealings and wasn't able to attend. That's alright. We were going to be, you know, "doing stuff" and since that was no longer the case, heck why not get pierced NOW and when he comes to visit at the NEXT (and subsequently LAST) Toronto BBQ, I'm all healed and ready for experimenting fun!

You're sick of me and my obsession of giving head aren't you? So there's this wonderful girl who wanted to get her septum pierced, and I suggested Dustin at Stainless Studios because I'd been reading he still wanted some volunteers for septum piercings, among some others (that's right, he's an apprentice, and a damn fine one at that) and she messaged him and they were all a go. Then I found out my "fun buddy" wasn't arriving, and encouraged me to get my tongue pierced, so it was my turn to message Dustin and have him think about two piercings in one day. Then another sweetie said they wanted to be pierced, and again we all suggested Dustin. Phew he was a busy boy that day! Then realizing that I'm probably the only one with the phone number to Stainless, I decided to take the initiative to actually call. Us three piercees wanted t o get done early because the BBQ started at 2pm (This would be the August 11, 2002 BBQ incase you're wondering) and so I said "Let's make the appointments starting at 1pm" I was supposed to go first, and Laura & Rikki-Lea could figure out who goes next. Oh, right. Here's a lesson to make sure you call to book appointments EARLY. I almost didn't get the gauge piercings I wanted. Because I never confirmed with Dustin I wanted the venoms done at 10g, he didn't make the barbells beforehand. And when I called the night before, he gave me the option of 14g or 12g, then panicked when I asked "What happened to 10g?" Luckily he actually had the 10g bars in the right length, so all systems are go!

Day arrives. I'm all nervous & stuff, so is everyone else (none of us could really sleep and sat up late chatting even though we should have been resting our bodies for the big day) I couldn't stand being in my apartment any longer, and decided to head out early down, arming myself with two 1.5L bottles of water (turned to ice), two 500mL bottles of water, my new digital camera, and whatever I needed for the BBQ (really not much) My house is so ghetto though, I couldn't make any salt water, because of lack of salt. I walk up and down Queen St because it being a Sunday, nothing was open until at least noon, but go me I was already hanging around at 11am. I went into KFC (for nostalgic reasons) and had the kids popcorn chicken meal as my "last meal". Now that I think back, I should have eaten more! I finally saw the big placard/wood sign sitting outside and ran upstairs pretty much noon on the dot. I see Dustin's head sticking over to see who's walking in this early, and say hi. And I see Rikki-Lea already sitting around. So we're not doing much, Dustin just opened and can't pierce without supervision, and someone to watch the front. We talk some piercing & so on, make Rikki eat some more breakfast bars and drink some orange juice, and fill out our applications. I blast through mine because I've memorized it by now, while Rikki sits slightly stunned it was so through.

Me and Rikki get ushered into Dustin's piercing room, and I sit down in "big scary chair" to begin marking, and we hear this voice, this very distinct voice. Laura's here! Tom Brazda informs her we actually are here (because she couldn't see us in the waiting area) Laura gets brought into the piercing room and is filling out her piercing info form while Dustin continues to mark my tongue, up and down and all around. The bottom marks kept getting "erased" since I already had large amounts of drool which wiped off the purple ink (something violet). I got the option of either 12g needles, taper, 10g barbells, or 10g needle and 10g barbell. The difference would have been, with a 12g needle plus stretch, there would be less blood. The problem would be because venoms go through more thicker muscle (unlike the center tongue piercings which go through sort of mostly fiber, reason why people can split their tongues) it would hurt a heck of a lot & might have swelled more, and it w ould have also taken more time to do. I opted for the quick and dirty 10g needles because I was excited, and terrified at the same time.

Finally I get to the actual piercing. To avoid the big huge veins down both sides of my tongue, they were marked to go at slight angles, so the end result would look kind of like a "V" shape when the bars were put in. So anyways, I check the marks, looking good, we get ready, I give the mirror back to Dustin, I give my glasses to Laura who puts it on top of the water cooler, then my camera which she wields with excellent results and I'm ready. Clamp went onto the right side of my tongue, it wasn't too bad and Dustin checked to make sure it didn't hurt much. No real breathing this time, and Laura and Rikki-Lea were instructed to not make me laugh (we had been cracking jokes at each other all this time so far) I'm holding a little paper cup under my chin to catch the needle, and the large amounts of drool I know will show up (I drool a LOT when I'm at the dentist, so I knew this was the case). No real breathing technique this time, I made sort of an "uh-huh" sound when he as ked if I was ready, and in goes needle, from top to bottom. I don't remember pain to be honest, I remember a lot of force to push the needle through, and some really odd sounds as the needle went through the middle part (the muscle tissue I believe) of my tongue, and a slight popping sound when it came out the bottom.

Large amounts of drool, lots of flashes from cameras going off, follow through with the barbell and the needle dropping neatly into the cup and the bottom ball being screwed onto barbell number one. Lots of wiping my chin with gauze too. My eyes were closed this whole time, and the clamp went onto the left side of my tongue. Same procedure pretty much, Dustin telling me he was about to pierce, 10g needle going quickly into tongue, stopping to grab jewelry, jewelry pushing needle into cup, more drool, ball being screwed onto barbell number two, a slight taste of blood and when I opened my eyes for the first time, a single tear coming out of my right eye I believe. Laura made a point of taking a picture of this tear. And I do believe both my spectators cringed each time I got pierced, I know I gripped my own knee quite hard but once it was over I could honestly say it didn't hurt even though both Laura & Rikki were convinced it did.

Laura gets her septum pierced next, then Rikki got her hood pierced, and after some quick run-of-the-mill pep talks about aftercare, salt being basically everyone's aftercare, we were out of there. Off to the August 11th, 2002 BBQ in Toronto! (Which is only a half block north of Stainless, what luck eh?) So we're all walking and walking some more. Get to the BBQ and I start drinking one of my many bottles of water. The non-frozen ones first. One was for my just drinking to keep swelling down water, and the other I turned into my salt solution using 3 packages of salt from KFC to a 500mL bottle of water (it really wasn't enough, but I only took 3 packages with me). I talked way too much in the beginning because it wasn't really swollen. Boy howdy I learned my lesson. I could still talk, my lisping was getting worse and worse as the night wore on.

I had various people tell me how when I wake up the next morning, I'd wish I could rip my tongue out because the first morning is the worst. And of course, I was hungry as a bear, but couldn't eat any of the yummy-looking hotdogs and various vegan food that the BBQ was providing. I did get the notion to eat a hotdog bun without the hotdog. Chock-filled with bun-ley goodness there. Ripping it into little itty bitty pieces, and shoving it FAR down my throat but since I still needed to chew, it would move to the front of my mouth. This is the first time I realized just how much I used my tongue to eat. It was horrible. It took me nearly 3 hours to eat HALF a hotdog bun, a quarter of it went to a vegan girl who was slightly peckish, and the remaining quarter of it went into the trash because by then it was stale as heck and I'd given up all hope. And of course, this is the BBQ where nudity and random sexual acts were welcome, and I had a freshly pierced tongue and could only sit and watch. In the middle of the BBQ, about 4 or 5 hours after getting pierced, I noticed my throat started to really hurt, asked if it was natural. It apparently is natural for like the sides of your neck to hurt since the tongue actually will swell all down your throat and it will, of course, hurt.

Since remembering that drinking water right before going to bed will help alleviate the acheyness of the swollen tongue, I downed as much ice-water as I could right before crawling into bed. When I woke up, it felt horrible but not like my tongue would kill me. So the water seemed to help. First thing I did was rinse my mouth out, then drink the rest of the water I owned. I called my parents, and although my mom noticed a lisp she didn't ask anything. I don't know if my dad saw when he picked me up, but he has yet to actually comment on it.

My mother however, went nuts when she found out. Started crying about why her daughter is now a freak, and so on and so forth. Demanding to know why I'm trying to ruin her life. Of course I deal with it by talking back to my mom, while being civil and all, but still demanding to know why me putting holes in my body is trying to ruin her life. Of course this made her even more upset since I'm still lisping pretty badly. Now it's been about 3 weeks and she seems alright with it in the fact that I don't stick my tongue out at her and I can talk normal again.

Eating habits for the first week consisted of:

• Hot'n'spicy hotdogs, which are a BAD idea because spiciness is hurtful
• Yogurt, which is also bad because of the bacteria cultures
• Ice cream, slightly bad, due to the dairy factor and more bacteria
• Orange juice, which I found out stings a LOT during the first few days
• Meatballs, was not bad when I cut them up really tiny.
• Spaghetti, which I basically just cut into smallest pieces as possible, then swallowed whole

And rinsing out with salt-solution after every meal or whenever I ate or drank something that wasn't water.

My mother cooking me spaghetti that I had to cut into little itty bitty pieces and basically use a spoon to eat with, along with the meatballs. About a week after, I went on vacation with my mom, where I found any fried foods (chicken wings) hurt, which is ok by me, since I want to lose weight anyways. And it's always interesting to try and figure out how to get salt-soaks while traveling, I brought my own bottle of course. But it was easier to just pillage the salt-shaker and what was left of my free water, then run to the bathroom for a spitting session.

Brushing of the teeth was also a challenge. At first I would basically only brush the outsides so I could close my mouth and protect these new pieces of metal in a soft fleshy part of my body. Twice while doing some "regular brushing" about 5 days after getting pierced, I noticed that in the mirror, the toothpaste looked a bit pink. I would then spit, and realize it was all blood and my bathroom sink looked like a fluoride crime scene. I just kept rinsing my mouth out until the taste of blood left, then rinsed with salt. This happened once while in the comfort of my home, and once while on vacation which made me paranoid because I was worried my mother would come in, see blood everywhere, then assume my tongue was infected and fell out and whatever over-active imaginations of parents can come up with. While on the subject of brushing, I didn't brush my tongue for maybe a week, and noticed some really gross plaque buildup to where my tongue was basically white. After giving some thought, I basically said to myself "what the hell?" and scrubbed away with my toothbrush, the feeling of a toothbrush going in-between two barbells on your tongue is extremely weird! It did get all the plaque off and it's mostly stayed off since I now brush my tongue once a day at least so I now have a normal pink tongue again.

The first week after, going back to work I couldn't really talk still (I'm a cashier) and had to take frequent breaks to get drinks because my mouth was constantly very dry but making announcements over the PA system, I'd be spitting all over the phones.

Now it's basically a month since my whole ordeal began. I can eat pretty much anything and drink and I've stopped doing salt rinses since week two. I should probably continue, and if there's anything I did wrong, it would have been not eating proper "tongue-happy" foods and stopping my cleaning early. All I can urge all the readers, is to really listen to your body. My tongue felt fine after about 10 days, and it was the end of the second week before I stopped cleaning excessively, I still do a salt rinse maybe every two days when I feel the need to and everyone else should too.

Onto the good parts, the last picture in the collage below (the orange-background) I had everyone at work saying I look like a snail. So I will be getting some shorter bars in ASAP because on about 4 occasions so far, I've lightly bitten on the balls/bars and I wouldn't change a thing for the world after that. Thanks for sticking out this entire experience!

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